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Yesterday I wrote a post wondering what would happen if there were, as Stephen Colbert declared, “no negative numbers.” One thing I noticed is that there would be no imaginary numbers without negative numbers. Now, this is so obtuse that I nearly left it out of my post, but I decided to leave it in, and I’m delighted I did. I’ll tell you why.

Today – and this is not a setup – someone posted a link to a video that involved imaginary numbers. I am not kidding. I cannot tell you the last time I spoke of or thought about imaginary numbers, and today they came up not once, but twice.

Coincidence? I Don’t Think So.

I also mentioned in my last post that math can be fun. This is a very clever and fun video, and I encourage you to check it out. (By the way, the video reminds me that, without imaginary numbers, there would be no complex numbers, either, so math would be a whole lot simpler – and a whole lot less useful.)

Matthew Weathers created this video for his Nature of Math class at Biola University. As he describes it: “What’s the difference between the real and the imaginary? Can an imaginary person (like a person in a YouTube video) do something outside the confines of a video box?”

So What Does This “Coincidence” Mean?

For years, I would lament the fact that these deliciously serendipitous events would occur and I usually didn’t know why. I still don’t always know why, but I know that they’re telling me one thing – and it’s the same message that I wrote about in my last post about pain – PAY ATTENTION. In this case, I have a cool experience to share with you.

The more you get in touch with the universe, the more you will experience serendipity. How do you get in touch with the universe? Simply get more in touch with you. It’s magic and it’s way more fun to grow this way than through pain.

Marla Bollak coaches midlife women on how to get in touch with themselves and create the best rest of their lives. Contact Marla and find out how to find yourself and become the designer of your new life.

Image via Wikipedia

Stephen Colbert declared last week, “There are no negative numbers.” This got me to wondering – what would life be like without negative numbers? I’ve taken some math classes and actually think that math can be fun. So, here we go.

Firstly, if there are no negative numbers, there are no imaginary numbers, either (because if -1 does not exist, neither does its square root).

So, all numbers are positive and real – no negativity and no imagination. What does that do to math? What happens when you deduct 6 from 2? Obviously that doesn’t work. So, we can’t do that. I feel stuck already.

Okay, we didn’t get very far with this.

As lovely a thought as it may seem, we can’t deny the existence – or utility – of negative (and imaginary) numbers. Why do we think we can wave away the existence of negative thoughts, emotions, and even events by turning off the news and banishing certain words from our vocabulary?

We think we can because we’re told that ignoring bad things will get us to a happy place. I disagree.

Pain is Good, and No, I’m Not a Masochist…

I think it’s a lie to say that banishing negativity from your conscious mind – in and of itself – improves your life. Denying the existence of negativity is not a positive thing. It’s problematic for two reasons:

1. Pretending negative things happen doesn’t make them go away – it drives them further underground, into your very powerful subconscious.
2. Negativity is very informative – and useful.

Obviously, negativity doesn’t feel good. I know I don’t like to see poverty, famine, or war in my life or in the lives of others. I don’t like feeling sad or unhappy. But, I know this: Ignoring these does not make them go away.

If I feel pain, it’s a signal to me that something needs to be changed. Maybe I need to process something or maybe I need to change a habit. Ignoring is a form of resistance, and, as we learned from one of the Star Trek incarnations, “Resistance is futile.” Worse than that, resistance drives the thorn deeper into our psyche where it festers, maybe becomes infected, and eventually oozes out.

Pain Offers an Opportunity for Growth and/or Healing

Consider this. Pain is  a signal to pay attention. It tells us that some part of ourselves needs attention. Just as the pain of a burn informs us that we need to administer ice and salve – or the pain of a pulled muscle tells us we need to rest – or that pain in our eye tells us to pull the stick out of it.

Is Being Positive A Bad Thing?

I’m not even remotely suggesting that it’s good to dwell on things that are uncomfortable or painful. I’m just saying it’s bad to completely ignore things things that need to be addressed. Being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of negativity. It means seeing the positive in everything.

Some would say that there are no negative things or positive things. I’m not there, yet, but I’m starting to get it. I’ve actually started to embrace so-called negative things as opportunities for my healing and growth and it has been – you know what, I can’t even describe it. It’s as if I have a glimpse into a peaceful bliss. I know that sounds crazy, but there you have it. I said it and I stand by it.

I’m going to go watch some news now. I can’t contribute to the world in positive ways if I don’t understand what’s going on – and I do want to contribute. That’s being positive.

photo by Kongsky

I came across a recent article on CBS News online. Headline reads: ‘Researchers: Midlife crisis is a myth.” According to the article, researches say that midlife crises are not common. While some mid-lifers experience a crisis, not so many do. I guess the researchers didn’t actually know how many… at least the article didn’t say. Furthermore, the researchers assert, a crisis can occur at any time of life. Not exactly breaking news.

My Take on the Midlife Crisis

• People experience crises at any time of life.
• Not everyone experiences a crisis at midlife.
• Crises that people experience at midlife are distinctly different than those they experience during, let’s say, adolescence. I’m generalizing here, and I am assuming somewhat normal development, as opposed to the person who gets stuck in adolescence – or anywhere else.
• Crises that people experience during midlife have striking similarities to each other, including but not limited to:
  • The realization that mortality, at least in our lifetime, exists, and a heightened sense that the clock is ticking.
  • A keen sense that mistakes were made, opportunities missed, and people got hurt.
  • Disappointment in some form or another.
  • A sense of loss of one thing or another.

The Flip Side of the Midlife Crisis

You have something that you didn’t have when you were an adolescent (besides the extra weight around your middle):

• A motivating sense of urgency.
• Perspective and a chance to mend yourself, and mend fences.
• The opportunity to reflect on half a lifetime of experience; to learn from mistakes made, and maybe openness to the idea that maybe – just maybe – there really are no mistakes.
• The maturity to accept your past as you learn to accept yourself.

So, Midlife Crisis -  Hard boiled Fact or Fanciful Fiction?

Corollary question – What’s a researcher? I do research. Am I a researcher?

Image: kongsky / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I recently ran across this quote:

“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.”  – General H. Norman Schwarzkopf

General Schwarzkopf is probably talking about military/political stuff, but I have to disagree. (Well, maybe I don’t have to, but I do.) Sure, it’s easy to know that you shouldn’t steal, maim or murder. That stuff is black and white, but there are many shades of gray. Still, I’m not interested in talking about moral issues today. I’m interested in talking about something different – like life. So, let’s switch gears just a bit.

What Do You Want From Life?

I’m not one of those people who knew from an early age what I wanted to be when I grew up. I’ve tried different things, and even enjoyed them, but it’s been a real challenge for me to know what would make my heart sing – despite the fact that I am very intuitive and know myself pretty well. I’ve always thought the opposite of General Schwarzkopf. I always thought that, once I knew the right thing to do (for me), doing it would be easy.

The truth, as usual, lies somewhere in between. Some of us did know what we wanted when we were small people, and have led a very directed life. For those of us who have meandered, life has held something very different. Maybe you’re different. Maybe you’ve had to peel away the layers to get to the real you, and now that you’re getting closer to the core, you’re ready for that inspiration to spring forth and propel you forward to the life you never before dreamed.

Ah, Midlife Has Its Rewards.

Now that I know the right thing for me (now), I’m finding that doing it has its own set of challenges. I’m finding these challenges to be exhilarating and that they are stretching me. I like that. I realize that all the inner work I’ve done has brought me to this threshold of a whole new world – of me. And, yet, it’s not all about me. It’s about how I can bring my gifts to the world in a way that’s gratifying for me and those that accept them. I’m not even talking anything grandiose, here. I just mean being fully myself so that my gifts spring forth naturally for those who would most benefit from those gifts. Maybe a smile to a stranger that I pass. Maybe a word of encouragement for a friend. Maybe more. Maybe much more.

What About You?

So, what do you think? Is it easier to know what’s right for you or to do what you need to do to make it happen in the world? Are you ready for your gifts to spring forth?

I caught part of the movie, ‘Always,’ the other night. I was reminded of what a wonderful movie it is. ‘Always’ is many things; funny, touching love story, love triangle (sort of), Audrey Hepburn in her final movie role, remake of 1943′s ‘A Guy Named Joe,’ but this is not a movie review…

‘Always’ tells the story of a pilot named Pete (played by Richard Dreyfuss), [spoiler alert, sort of] who dies and returns to the earth as a spirit with a mission. Throughout the movie, you see how he communicates with various characters in various circumstances. To me, it’s a great example of how intuition works. You see, the characters don’t know that a spirit is communicating with them.

At one point, Pete tells John Goodman‘s character, Al,  that his face itches. Goodman (as Al) scratches his face. He doesn’t think, “oh, I’m being told to scratch by some mysterious force.” He just scratches.

At other points, characters experience Pete’s voice as their own thoughts – which brings us back to intuition. (In this way of viewing the world,) we experience intuitive thoughts without even knowing it. We think they are our own original thoughts. And there may not be a real way to tell the two apart – unless the intuitive thought is so far removed from our own manner of thinking, or if it’s something that we have no way of knowing – except through intuition.

So, remember, the next thought you have, may not be your own. I’d love to hear any thoughts, and if this post inspires you in any way to see ‘Always’ or ‘A Guy Named Joe’ (with Spencer Tracy and Irene Dunne), do it!

Our lives are created by a series of choices that we’re constantly making. What to eat, what to wear, where to work and play, with whom to associate, and on and on. Some of these choices are trivial; many are not. We like to think that we make decisions consciously and rationally, but this is not the case. Other factors enter into, dominate the decision making process.

A recent CBS news article, called Decisions, Decisions… talks about how we make decisions, stating that we make decisions more with our emotions or gut than with our rational mind. Given the state of the world, and some of the choices we make, that certainly rings true to me. Of course, decision making is a complex process that involves many parts of ourselves. Since the choices we make create the life we lead, they have a major impact on the quality of our lives. Some insight into ourselves and the way we assess the choices before and arrive at decisions us leads to better decisions – and ultimately, better lives.

Our best choices are those that are in alignment with our own truth and who we are in the world. Knowing ourselves and maintaining an open connection with that part of us – intuition, if you will – that part of us that knows who we are and what is right for us and those we love.

Welcome to Sage of Enlightenment….  Header by the talented Rosemarie Morelli Crocker.

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